Face Off: Definitely not a fan of pumpkin spice

Liam+Eifert

Liam Eifert

Just before flu season, a different plague comes out of the woodwork to infest our local Walmarts and Starbucks. It stalks us from push-up pops and latte cups. From Oreos to Pringles, it spoils our favorite foods. And like a virus using our cells to reproduce, it charges us extra for the privilege. Such is the state of pumpkin spice. 

We all know deep down it doesn’t taste any better, but we buy it all the same. Out of fear of missing out we try the newest pumpkin spice Oreos and Pringles. Every fall, limited time offers trap us into paying more for the same product. Endless cycles of superficially new editions are part of the corporate playbook for squeezing out more money. 

Every season brings with it its own highly marketable version. The waste of Christmas, Easter and Fourth of July Peeps, all with their own unique shapes, does little to better our lives. Might there be something beyond this eternal consumption? Maybe, but you’d never know it given the hype for meaningless flavors.

Pumpkin spice apologists say they truly enjoy the flavor, but there’s a reason why it’s only sold in the fall, and it has nothing to do with pumpkins. Pumpkin spice was created as a topping on pumpkin pie. The ingredients — cinnamon, nutmeg, and cloves — are available all year round. If you like pumpkin spice for itself, then you should be even more upset than I am because it means your favorite flavor is held back, save for a couple of months in a year, just for a corporate marketing ploy.

I ask for the death of the disease or total acceptance of it. May pumpkin spice reign all year long or may we be rid of it.