No Jackets?

New rule cracks down on lunchroom theft by policing what students wear


Mario makes an unexpected appearance

Liam Eifert, Executive Editor

A change to cafeteria customs has riled up some students. Coats or jackets of any kind have been prohibited in the servery area where the food can be picked up. One of the top enforcers, SIT team member Mr. Aundrey Wright, said, “Rules come up because people tend to do things that cause new rules to be formed. We’ve noticed a trend in some negative things going on, and so to eliminate that we have to counteract.” He clarified that this doesn’t mean the problems had an overwhelming frequency, saying, “When you make rules, you make them across the rules. It only takes one or two people to mess it up for everybody.”

The rule’s application has been inconsistent. Senior Miyanah Perry said she had never been told to take a jacket off, but still feels impacted by the rule. She said, “I wear jackets all the time and I’m scared to wear jackets now.” Junior Julia Hurley similarly had never been stopped with a jacket but had seen others punished by it. Further, she said, “I think that there is really no point because I don’t see how wearing a coat or jacket would interfere with getting food.”

Freshman Henry Lewis, on the other hand, had been stopped. He had been wearing an IU jacket at the time. Asked for his opinion on the rule, he said, “I don’t like it.” Senior Kiara Taylor had a more nuanced opinion. Given the apparent food theft problem, she said, “They should make lunch way cheaper. They’re asking for it. It’s their fault.” 

Senior and leprechaun Brody Snyder however, illuminated how students were really thinking about this issue. Asked “What’s your opinion on the new rules that you can’t wear a sweatshirt in the servery,” he responded, “What’s really been on my mind is the hit new sensation of the Mario Movie. I really think that’s what matters and that’s what you should be reporting on and not this fake news propaganda.”

This forced me to reevaluate the story I’d been working on. Coach Wright said something similar when I talked with him. Referring to the no jacket rule, he wondered aloud, “Is it really that big of a deal? If you’re that upset about it, how does it necessarily affect you?” Maybe he was right, but the Mario Movie definitely was affecting Cathedral students. Snyder said of the Mario Movie, “I think it’s one of the most serious movies. It’s borderline a horror movie if you think about it. Bowser is intimidating and scary in every way possible except for when he’s singing and that’s when you see the more human side of him even though he’s the least human of all the characters.”

I made sure to ask Julia Hurley, who is also quoted above about the new cafeteria rules, about the apparent must-see cinematic experience. She said, “I haven’t seen it but I really really want to, I feel like there’s been so much cultural hype around it and I need to be a part of that moment.” Freshman Jackson White likely would have tempered her expectations, saying, “It just wasn’t worth the hype.” He said, “It was too short. If it was longer I would’ve been more intrigued.” The Mario Movie run time is a rather brief 1 hour and 32 minutes.

I made sure to ask multiple Scholastic Gold Key winner Kiara Taylor to ask her about the artistry of the Mario Movie trailer after getting her comments on the new rules. She admired the graphics, but had concerns over the message. She said, “They might think they can grow a mustache that beautiful. That’s unrealistic beauty standards.” She commented, “I feel like the comedy could be more advanced. It’s kind of elementary but it is for children.” After watching the whole trailer though, she totally pivoted (not unlike this article) from her negative tone. She said, “I’m definitely going to go see it in the IMAX. I’m really excited. Going to get some popcorn, it looks like a classic, I can see it already.”

When I talked to Senior Sydney Moore she said she actually had been forced to take her jacket off once, but let’s face it — at this point none of you are reading for the cafeteria intrigue. Of the more interesting subject of this article, she described the song “Peaches” from the movie sung by Bowser. Sydney said, “It’s the most ridiculous voice and it’s just him repeating the word “peaches” over and over again and it’s solo piano too.” Truly peak art.

What’s really been on my mind is the hit new sensation of the Mario Movie. I really think that’s what matters and that’s what you should be reporting on and not this fake news propaganda.”

— Brody Snyder

Senior Ella Bundy, who also happens to be a published author, searched for some outside sources to form an opinion. She said that, as a writer, “When it comes to my opinion on the Mario Movie, I agree with Elon Musk.” The Twitter CEO had been bashing movie critics for giving the movie one star, claiming that they were disconnected from the audiences that were actually watching the movie. Suddenly the discussion had overtones of anti-elitism and polarization. I had really found something meaningful, a microcosm of the anxieties of the nation as a whole. 

Snyder had another idea. Asked about the discrepancy between the audience and critic scores on review aggregator site Rotten Tomatoes, he said, “That is probably because they are not children, and the audience are children.” Very profound of him to emphasize the generational divide over the political one. Maybe it’s not very surprising though. After all, what really is being a teenager about if not raging against the petty rules and ratings of grown ups? Maybe this article is coherent after all. On second thought, probably not.